Spring is chronologically here yet not in reality as the air is cold and raining. First of all have to say that I was blogging this post and it was highlighted five times and managed to save it yet after blogging 374 words I managed to lose it. My son looked in the recycled bin couldn’t find it. When that occurred I simply remained calm ate four starbursts two jolly ranchers before proceeding to recall the contents. My intention is to simply try to make these writings perfect or near to it so each time this happens I am yelling at the computer as it becomes nerve raking. Now I shall begin to recall what I lost. Put my memory to the another ultimate test. Feels like autumn now. Cold at night, needing the heat for warmth. Recently viewed” The Imitation Game” It is thought provoking, sensitive. Highly recommended. Been listening to doo-wop music, 90’s alternative while still recalling melodies familiar and progressive. Been condensing items, so a non cluttering becomes a habit. Recently went to Dr. Shapiro. After a battery of eye tests as usual. He greets me and calls me ‘Gracie’. There are only a few who may refer to me by that name. It is a sign of affection to me only by a few not all. As the doctor is checking my eyes through a scope both of us start chatting away about family. Asks it if I’ve taken a trip to the East Coast and while is uttering those words I’m thinking how wonderful it would be again live there. I tell him about my son writing a book that is being sold on Amazon” Perdition’s Epilogue” Book 1. And that Andre is working on Book 2. He says I must be so proud of him. My thought again to that statement is how much. I tell him that Andre had mrsa and Dr. Shapiro said he comes in contact with that daily. I also say that my son has been diagnosed with Amyloidosis and that it has settled in his kidneys. My doctor is very familiar with amyloids. Tells me that he operates on persons who have or have had them. I tell him that amyloids are found in the heart, liver and other vital organs. He mentions that amyloids are found in the eyes also. I have been going to Dr. Shapiro for nine years. On one of those my visits he mentioned that I would be his patient till he retires. I mention to him that I went to another eye doctor for 25 years. He already knew that because he had the all my records. At my first visit with Dr. Shapiro I was apprehensive of course. At this initial visit he said that’ you have the best attitude given the cards you’ve been dealt’ I have to recall this positive statement now and then. It is in the fashion of being philosophical in nature. I have to keep this pertinent statement in mind when asking him questions that deal in a personal nature.
Seems like Spring at last however doesn’t really feel like it, being there are still patches of snow on the ground and it air feels still cold more so in doors than outside. Still viewing fabulous movies with depth the favorite kind. Then for a change viewing ” King of the Hill” That cartoon is funny and is filled with downright superb writing as each script brings wonder to the funny bone as the characters are so outlandish. Moving to the Midwest was a real type of adjustment: with dialects, spread out places, flat lands among other attributes. Although have attributed to mere survival is all a part of life. I personally enjoy the East Coast a great deal better for a number of reasons that would take a book to answer. It is reasonable to have some sort of vehicle in which to motivate. I noticed straight forward that very few persons walk in the Midwest. That was very difficult for me to recognize. These people even go a block in their cars instead to walking. That is hard to imagine for me as I have walked all my entire life, and really don’t mind it as I allow myself always enough time to get to appointments, work and such. People don’t carpool either for obvious reasons, neither do they hitchhike. The bus systems are ridiculous in smaller towns as are the taxicabs as well. I personally have never driven a motor vehicle and really don’t mind it. As the slogan goes” If you haven’t had it then you don’t miss it”. I call it a minor inconvenience and don’t let it get to me at all. However I have found that questions like, do you drive or oh you don’t drive? Seems to close minded individuals as these people seem to turn it to me and question as to why? In the first place, it is at my discretion as to if I want or if I don’t that is mainly and solely up to me and no one else. I personally love trains for a myriad of answers. Seems like if the majority are doing something and the minority aren’t then again the narrow minded people pick on the minority to see the fallacy of that particular situation and needlessly wrong and blame the minority, It will and has been going on and will continue to move forward for that’s the way it is: forget the rationally. Just keeping in mind a bit of normalcy as if it minds it matters.
Springtime, songbirds singing, cheers, hugs and love of this special season to all worldwide. A bit of normalcy, watching favorite movies with depth, endless walks, spring projects to pass the time in a constructive way, all in all while endlessly waiting for something. The tension rises as you can’t wait anymore however yet do for you haven’t a choice. The week goes as you call and get an automatic recording which makes more pressure, anxiety within the depths of your soul. Then going on a website putting personal information down as you wander why and if you should do this however again the choice isn’t yours. Week two and each time you look on the same website it is the same no change. Inwardly you want to scream to the heavens however outwardly you keep your composure. Surely there will be a sign next week. Yet the third week arrives with payments due, money owed, and again the same procedure. You start to pray and more that you previously did and start making a priority giving you some sort of satisfaction while telling yourself and calming yourself down at least inwardly. Watching more movies, having chats with some remarkable close friends manages to ease the pressure yet you know it won’t leave you until it comes. Then following week arrives and nothing. Looking at the whole picture you wonder why a person has to endure this misery. You say to yourself as the saying goes misery loves company and that doesn’t help one iota. You know that others are waiting for the same thing and are in the same boat as you: however you think that their boat is a cruise liner while yours is a rowboat and you are going down the river in choppy stormy waters. You look on different news sites leaving your mind to wander about other persons who are in desperate situations some by their own hand and others by circumstance just handed to them. You feel pity for some and want to change it and can’t. You think of a special prayer while that has a calming effect. While on to week five, you come to a Canadian news site. CBC and view that low income and senior citizens are receiving their refunds sooner only two weeks of waiting. The Canadian government realizes that individuals need their just shares within a reasonable period. You count the time as to when you turn it in and it being received and it becomes irritating. You check the site again and it has been received. What it takes this long five weeks. It now gives a date as to when it will arrive as it as been processed. A week more: What Go Figure yet you wait. Then week six comes and it arrives on Monday. You thank your lucky stars it wasn’t yet longer. Oh it was by design!
Tending to wake at abnormal hours is nothing new. Just telling the body that you’ve had enough sleep. Of course this is natural only depending on how deep a person sleeps as referring to REM. Which in my case is true. May have the tendency to sleep anywhere, anytime regardless of the hour. Naturally this takes into consideration the amount of tension you have. Or pressure which is the same thing. In my case I personally have a great deal. I too, put a huge deal of it on myself which sometimes I have to remind myself, sometimes to relax. However to do this I tend to give myself a bit of normalcy and do this my way. Watching movies not just any to past the time, but a type of relaxation: movies that have particular interest to me which are in the circle of a myriad. Being highly motivated with accomplishing anything in advance beforehand so I can go on to another thing. When stress gets just to much I tend to just walk and sometimes that relieves it. A time to get away a breath of fresh air taking small amounts as I go, breathing in and out. Being high strung is a tendency to myself. Things that are due to something are easier. However when it comes to something and involves individuals that are close to me. It is another story altogether. Being very sensitive in regard to individuals who I hold dear to my heart, I will defend them to the hilt. Being a Taurus I appear to be cold hearted or my way of thinking being aloof. Part of getting rid of tension is writing about the experiences and doing it in an intelligent audible venue. Without alluding to the particulars of the incident because that just makes my blood boil over, the more just the mere thought of it. Being suffice saying it involves my niece betraying my younger son in the course of confidentiality. I wouldn’t even mention anything about the incident or think that it didn’t matter however I only say this for the reason that it was wrong and she shouldn’t away with such behavior. I in turn don’t want to move in the direction of anymore animosity. My true intention is harmony. She will always be a niece to me.
Waking up in the morning at the tweeting sounds of a bird chirping is a pleasant way to start the day and furthermore to put icing on the cake to have the meditation sounds of a French Singer or Sinatra sounding out beautiful tones.
For as much evil in the world there is countless amount of good as well. Good has and will always outshine evil. When any newborn baby comes into this wonderful world, this phenomenon isn’t evil in the beginning. There is an intuitive attitude built in all of us a technical aspect which tell us the difference between right and wrong. There is an adage which is ‘whatever you do don’t get caught’. Unfortunately as the baby grows this slogan is drilled into them with a fine tooth comb. As this person grows in stature this human being sees and has all types of experiences. This human blindly goes through life and clearly accepts what is handed not knowing that their could change dramatically if for one instance there was a choice or a path to be taken. This person may have everything at their disposal. In some cases a high intellect is given to them, yet with that the path is going in circles, making errors time and again without any consequences. Their entire life is a standstill without rhyme or reason. This person is in one jam or another without accountability. Sadly there are countless individuals like these mentioned. They come from all walks of life, all economic statuses, Regardless of race, religion. They can be anyone.
The cold blink frigid times, who needs it! Nobody not a living soul. The extremes of anything is really too much to bear for anyone. Neither the extreme hot nor the extreme cold plays havoc on the human body and for that matter an animal or anybody. These days of below temperatures are horrendous. You go outside and take even a short walk no matter the length, you have to force yourself to keep going for if for one instance you stop for some unknown reason you would think you would freeze for it is that cold. Then you go inside and it takes a matter of more than a minute to warm your body up and the shock of it seems as if you are shivering which you are in actuality. Indeed it is no fun. My bones and muscles are playing havoc and sometimes are in pain and wake me up at night or having trouble going to sleep because of the pain or at this very moment a dull pain. This is exaggerated for one reason the deepest of the cold. Not ruling out arthritis by any means and putting some ice cold rub on the area which could be acute. Never want to start a habit of taking medicines even at this young at heart age. That theory is that you repair something and something again goes wrong in another place and then its on and on again. So why would I start something without finishing it. To me its like starting a box of something and eating just enough and then starting on another and eating your fill and again on and on. Why not start and finish the first one without starting in midstream. That is more of a logical outcome. Never say that stress may cause the pain. For the simply answer that you can relieve stress by reading a favored book, watch some choice movies, which are many and very selective. Reading” James Stewart by Marc Eliot a bio.”Vincent” a choice movie with Bill Murray is excellent: anything with Bill Murray is worth anyone’s time. Taking a walk or occupying your time with enjoying activities is my answer. Being around certain people you want to be instead of whether you have to be. No one is obligated to you but yourself, just answer to yourself and of course to your creator. Have a conscience an intuition then of course only follow that. Be your own leader. Never let another be in control. Others may guide or advise you, only you will make decisions then answer for them. Now its time to edit! Good with Philosophy too! Don’t know your talents till the time arises. Sometimes it’s natural and you surprise yourself.
With nearly a foot of fresh fallen white floating snow at a rapid pace the levelness of it as if someone could have measured it with a ruler it was that exact. Strolling in it as if in a kid’s playground, seeming as in a falling down halfway and getting up in a forward motion and purposely repeating it and laughing loudly and not caring if anyone heard or not. Just having pure enlightening enjoyment. All that was missing were endless bridges and in the depth of oceans in my mind’s eye. The overall scenery as if London Town appears in the foggy air. Without a notion what… again without a warning a couple of days before this event, came eyes watering, head pounding on the side the temples, fever blister prior. So still again I put some cayenne pepper in hot tea to try to relieve the pressure and it works in a somewhat fashion. Then I put some apple cider vinegar in a cup with a little water and drink the nasty concoction. Again it works somewhat. It is worse when I lay down at night. Can’t seem to be in a comfortable position and going from right to left and part way in between, a miserable time of it. Counting the seconds where there is relief. Can’t take medicine and won’t refuse it simply for the reason its not reasonable. When you take medicine the thing you want to fix is repaired yet something else is wrong then you fix that and so on, I call it a downward spiral. So why start it in the first place. This situation occurs once or twice every year. That is dependable. It doesn’t last forever, go figure, just deal with it.
Focusing more on puzzles than photos recalling the disc that is tucked away safely pertaining to the blogs that were in 2005 through 2006 then 2007. These began in mid year of each of those. Had at that time an no longer email address plus a different way more ancient way to viewing the news online, then with that too another online blog that was connected with yahoo. My niece was getting married in Florida and wanted to go to the wedding. Was planning to fly to Indpls., though then my sister went without telling me as we were planning to go together. It was suppose to be a family affair however I should have known better than to rely on that, being that these people had a history of being distant. Just thought it would or could be different for once. Had too a social media site called my space the name for obvious reasons. Saw Liz on there that’s the reason that I was aware of her up coming marriage in June. Tried finding her sister Christal with earnest caring searching. Even for some reason looking at a website called woodtv based in Grand Rapids. Found on google she was in Michigan. Then I got an email from that site saying that a person tried to search for her however there television signal didn’t go far enough. Later on she had been near Detroit namely Dearborn. So finally and gratefully connected with her. While on that subject of searching, my father had a huge argument with my Uncle Bobby when I was 4 years of age and my sister was 2 years of age. My dear Uncle Bobby had many Christmas presents stacked up one on top of the other. All I saw was a huge doll with blond hair, blue eyes. Well to make matters worse, my father said” Take all of them with you and get out” As he is screaming at the top of his lungs. Then my father turned to my mother and said” Now what are we going to get them for Christmas”, she said” Give them coloring books and crayons, they won’t know the difference” Never saw Uncle Bobby for many years till I was in my early twenties and he and my father was talking in the alcove kitchen. I was quietly sitting at the kitchen table handwriting someone. Uncle Bobby comes over to me and is most complimentary. My father became jealous for some reason. Made some comment to Uncle Bobby which was not heard for my ears. Then years later I was in Jacksonville visiting my sister Vivian in 1995 and my sister was working though she was out of the house for some reason. I took that opportunity and phoned Uncle Bobby in Sarasota after getting his phone number from the operator. I had the best very comfortable conversation with him not knowing the length of it, though just concentrating on what was being said. I recall his cheerful voice saying that” I remember you as a baby that I was so cute lovable pretty.” I was thrilled. That was my last contact with him. I so treasured those words. My dear father told me once that I had constitution in which I have. Character is more important than reputation. Character is what you think of yourself. Reputation is what others think you are!
A bitter cold with sub zero temps isn’t a picnic for man nor beast. Knowing that it is January and scrolling back to 2005 this is a tribute to my beloved best cousin in this world, Tim. He was an actor, world Olympic swimmer, an independent writer who scripted with interest many articles for the Star Ledger in New Jersey. On a personal note, I asked for his address from my mother and with her mean spirited tone gave me an answer that is unprintable. So with mere determination and it too quite a while and it was so well worth the time: I got it from my sister, Vivian gladly. So then came letters with picturesque penmanship handwritten cards, postcards, personally addressed to me, and many emails came back and forth. I was so thrilled. I answered each and everyone of them with care and finesse. This continued for a total of 10 years. By the way I still have these treasured pieces of intangible and tangible memories kept away for self keeping. He wrote comical articles with demonstrations of drawings that were truly unique. He told me about with utmost clarity of his children, his sons Christopher, Nick and Nick’s wife Judy and his daughter Sara. And came photos upon photos abound. He struggled with A.L.S. for 18 months. I was in Alabama at this time and would hope he would be better someway, somehow. However that wasn’t the case. On the 9th of January I phoned him and spoke to his wife of 10 years, Jo Ann. Then phoned him back on the 10th and demanded to speak to Tim. With a breathing tube in his throat we both said ” I Love You” he being first. Then I got an email dated on the 11th saying that Tim had died surrounded by his music and family. I cried and went immediately across the street to my adoptive grandmother, Julia and told her the devastated news. He was the most caring person, recalling when my sister died 3 years earlier, he making it a point calling me and saying how so sorry he was. He was most genuine, his wife Weesie recalling a most personal moment of where he showed great compassion and not divulging the incident. Growing up he made me feel on the top of the world which gave me such a lift which I so needed with compliments galore. You might say that growing up I favored him. Then later on in life I met his brother Mike. A wonderful, sweet, beautiful, magnificent person in his own right.
Sunny day momentarily however bitter cold and snow in a day or so. Realizing its winter but does it have to be so unbearable. Let’s focus on the blogs from 2005 that were on the other computer. Be more concerned with your Character than your reputation, because character is what you really are, while your Reputation is merely what others think you are. Focusing on both puzzles and photos these very well known statements are true and just because they are written by someone else the meanings are indelible in a persons mind so these aren’t just some persons way of making something out of nothing. It goes as follows: Children Learn What They Live
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn justice.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Although these words were written a century and a half ago or maybe in the 17 or 18 hundreds. These words are timeless. Parents should look closely to these words and adhere to them and really grasp the thoughts as to their repercussions. These words should be printed in the schools as well just as a reminder. These applies today and always.