Archive for December, 2013

“A Point Of No Return”

December 25, 2013

Winter being unique with ice storms, mounds of fresh fallen snow that glistens as tiny stars on the ground at night reflecting from the streetlights. Hearing Citizen Cope “Drummers Kick” knowing there’s a point of no return. Let’s backtract to the end of 2010. There it was beyond the beyond, bad getting worse and even worse. I would go to the grocery store and get items that I preferred. Then went into the fridge and they were gone. Knowing Carol didn’t swipe them, it was again the daughter. I ignored it once or twice but when it happened repeatedly, I voiced my thought and the daughter just rolled her large eyes without even an apology. And beyond that never replaced any of them. My eating and sleeping patterns were disruptive daily. I’d go down the basement to do laundry. There was growing mold in the adjacent room and particularly near the washing machine and dryer. There was not an attempt to make any repairs as I mentioned this problem to Carol. She was aware of it however did nothing. When I mentioned it again she said “I’m sorry” I thought to myself sorry doesn’t get it: this is unsafe. The daughter would be taking repeated baths at all hours. She would have outbursts anytime, screaming inside and out of the house. Carol and myself had locks on both our bedroom doors. I would lock mine even when it would be for a short or longer time. She did whatever she wanted, had no control and her parents never put any controls on her. I would leave the house at 6am walk up to the coffee shop, spend sometime there until Carol would pick me up between 10:30 and 11:00: she would drop me off at the mall or at Borders both on the Eastside, before going to her job. Then from there she would have another job on the southside. I would go there and read and relax until she was finished. It would be midnight when we both got back to the house. This was my daily routine. The more I was away from the house the better so she and I wouldn’t be there alone in the house. Oh speaking of my patterns I would take a showers only once a week, always when the daughter was gone. I would call Carol beforehand to see if it was safe. There wasn’t a lock on the bathroom door. Speaking of locks she broke the lock on my bedroom door. Then began stealing. I told Carol in January I couldn’t live there any longer. She said she agreed. I began calling apartments for rent. This place was hell on earth if there is such a thing and I think there is. At the house I started playing one against the other mentally, just for my own safety. I thought” I got myself into this situation, and I will get myself out”. It is amasing that these experiences are still vivid to recall. It is a test for my memory and for my survival.

” Waiting Till Time Was Right”

December 15, 2013

A suggestion to the growing homelessness is to count how many abandoned dwellings in this city and surely there are many, if not a few and refurnished them to a point of being habitable. Madison has thrown a ton of money into Randall Stadium for the love of football here. There should be more shelters particularly in the downtown area. At the beginning of 2009, it was the same yet getting worse. The house was literally cluttered with junk throughout. Closets were the same, with outdated cans goods, bags of rice from the food bank. The kitchen was horrendous. There was a new refrigerator and the food in it was spoiled. I had long conversations with Carol while she and I were hanging laundry on the clothesline in the back yard. She was working long hours as a caretaker and hardly at the house. So time was limited for her to do any of the housework. So I had an idea to help her out. She and I cleaned the refrigerator entirely. Actually I did most of it, while she was standing there. Her boyfriend was in a reggae band, so get the picture. He was all negative. Her daughter was a nut case. Getting the drift. The local police were at the house countless times for numerous things. It didn’t matter when. Seemed that the house was marked for bad activities. I debated with myself to move, yet thought my credit wasn’t up to par just yet. By being there I was building a good credit rating, so I continued to stay. Just waiting till the time was right. I would continue to stay to myself and i.m. my neices Lizzy and Jenny about the situation. They were both concerned for me. My son Andre would phone from Seattle and he too was concerned as were the neighbors. As 2009 came to an end and 2010 would come into the picture things were even getting intolerable.

“Year Upon Year”

December 13, 2013

Shockingly there are thirty three hundred homeless in Madison and half of them are children in shelters. There are twenty two thousand children who are homeless in n.y.c.: these people are only become a number to the rest of the u.s. population. These people are prisoners within their own bodies. It is a revolting fact. That even a single person is homeless and has to sleep in the dirt to keep warm against the elements. It is a crime against humanity. Now let’s scan back to 2005. After a scenic time on the roads, came at last to wisconsin to the capital city madison to a 3 bedroom,one bath small cape cod house. Arranging all my furniture in my small bedroom was a challenge and an accomplishing feat in itself. It looked good, with belongings in the closet and organisation to the tee. Then I went for a brisk walk to get myself acclimated to the surroundings. Each day I planned what was to be done on each day forward. Went to the coffee shop on Sunday mornings to hear some music which was relaxing. Went to the nearby park for a stroll next to the lake. On Tuesdays went to St. Paul’s Catholic Church downtown which was frequented by college students. Enjoy going to Mass: it brought solace then. Stopping at Subway which was adjacent to it. Then to the library a few steps away. On Thursday headed to Border’s on the east side for time to enjoy. On Monday the following week Carol called her x husband in n.j. to say I was here and to agree with expenses of the house. I spoke to Dan and with a conference call between Carol, Dan and myself, we came to an verbal understanding, nothing in writing that I would pay half the rent, utilities including water and the taxes which came twice a year. Thought to myself, it was a fair deal, as the three of us agreed. As the summer was well underway, I would mow the grass front and back, trim the bushes in the back yard with sheerers. The mosquitos were horrible because of the proximity to the lake. Summer went quickly into the leaves turning raking them and cold brisk winter. Neighbors with snow blowers, shoveling snow and bone chilling temperatures. With Christmas coming and the start of the New Year, I felt satified for some unknown reason. Got a new computer from Ian who was in Manila and sent it to me via Rick Jacobs. Andre was in Seattle. Spoke to him often. Soon it was spring of 2006 and I had been there a year. Hard to believe. Time went by in a flash. Then the summer and into the other seasons, Christmas came, New Year of 2007 and the seasons repeated. Holidays came and went. New Year 2008. Events and seasons again repeated into 2009. Went on facebook then connected with family, friends and starting blogging in August of that year. Had to get my thought revealed. Stayed to myself. Thought it was better that way. Had nothing whatsoever in common with the people were in the house. Seemed to me they were strangers. This was with the exception of Carol. Made a bad situation good.

“Out Of The Deep South”

December 11, 2013

Sunny bright blue skies, however still single digits high and below normal. Somewhat sounds like a weathercaster. Always interested in news and what is happening around the universe. After spending a two week visit getting a inkling of what was instore for myself just in case I wanted to make a permanent change of my own volition: I laid awake and thought long and hard. I arrived back in March of 2005, with a mind of scenic beauty, occasionally walking down by the lake at the end of the very short row of houses. Inside the house was a far cry to my expections, with several people coming and going throughout the day and sometimes during the evening. Thought to myself the mother who owned the house had a very large family. So I thought naturally there would be a great deal of friends along with relatives. Anticipating my move, I gathered up what was important and tossed the rest of belongings as went into an organisation mode. After several phone calls from the owner of the dwelling, she was anxiously awaiting my arrival as I was on the same path. It was a very friendly long conversation as were her long detailed letters. After much preparation on both our parts, the time had come. I rented a van. The neighbor from the next door apt., assisted me to put my furniture into the medium size uhaul. All the furniture, personal belongings, fit very well without crowding them and of course there was move to spare. This was in May of 2005 after a two months of deliberations. The manager of the four seasons was friendly, sad at the same time as my apt. was a model to others. Brenda wished me the best as she stood inside my apt. for the last time. Called Carol the owner of the house, she was apologetic b/c she was running late due to her working schedule. So we both agreed to make it on Saturday in May. I slept in an empty apt. There was a knock on the door, in early morning. Carol and her boyfriend came and asked me politely to use my apt. She and he slept in the empty bedroom and I slept in the living room. It was only for a matter of hours. I slept on and off in sweet reverie and was awaken by the bright sun shining through the window. That sun was my alarm clock. All three of us climbed into the van. Me on the passenger side, she in the middle and he driving. We stopped at McDonalds for something light with coffee, before the long scenic route to Wisconsin. We stopped at rest stops, restaurants, and in Ky near Mammoth Cave, but it was closed on a Sunday, so there was another nearby cave she and he went in as I stayed out and admired the surrounding sights.

“A Blue Bird”

December 10, 2013

It is dangerously cold outdoors and the most of the country is the same way, in some respects a good deal worse. Having only fourteen blogs to go before reaching 500: thinking of the most memorable outstanding sagas that are most important. Just before moving to this state, I was in Ala. for seven years. It really wasn’t that bad however thought the change would be good to get away from the South. I had prior to moving writing long letters to a so-called friend. She and I had known each for a good amount of years. Knew each other’s lives, families. We knew each other in Ohio. She and her family lived in the same house in Madison on the same street. She would describe the house and surroundings in written letters. Thought some day I would go there. The cold was bone chilling and she would make this known. However with my determination of survival and I have it to this day: I thought it would be fine. Every time I mentioned details she would skirt the questions, and time and time again she would mention”God”,and all that stuff, so she would avoid the answering the vital questions when asked by myself repeatedly. It was rather irritating now that I would think back on the situation and was in at last in the situation. However again I was giving her the benefit of the doubt, and again thought she was just being herself. After much thought on my part, I went for a visit of a total of two weeks. In March of 2005 I was sitting on the porch and saw a blue bird in a snow covered tree with the sun shining through the leaves and thought it would be fine. Little did I know.

“Sight Unseen”

December 8, 2013

Again a wintery wonderland with flakes of snow dropping from the cloudless sky which makes it a perfect photo. Of course it is from this vantage point as I sit here blogging some wild pictureque words of description. While it appears to be of a sarcastic nature, it is absolutely true as I am with a second cup of coffee, warmly in my dwellings, with plenty to eat and a good amount of sleep. I am comforted with a smattering of individuals which make life worthwhile. This is all of my choosing too. The title of this may refer to several options. In one way it could be brothers who one has all the recognisation at the time and the other is in the background. Maybe that is because of one of them being three or four years older, that could be in the eyes of the viewers too. Or on the other hand it could be the other brother doesn’t draw attention to himself either, or just goes on with his actions. My cousin, Tim was three years older than my cousin, Mike. My son Ian is four years older that my son, Andre. I on the other hand was the eldest of five and felt and treated always in the background. So it isn’t necessarily where you are in a family.

” A Recipe”

December 1, 2013

Winter wonderings are upon all of us. Holiday get-togethers are part of these last two months of the year, this year and every year in the past as well as in the future. It would be a good idea and make the best of the hustle, bustle and hassle of it. While drinking some more coffee, as if I needed it, although my middle name should be “chock full of nuts” if you get my drift. The other night way early in the morning, a recipe came to mind. Being never following a recipe in all my existence, I was solely surprised at the dreamt up idea. Here are the ingredients. Four large sweet potatoes: a can of pineapple rings: a jar of red cherries: along with another jar of green cherries. Obtain a wide flat baking pan, yeah high: grease the pan with butter, margarine or cooking spray, including the sides of the pan. Split the potatoes in half. Make sure the skins are still on, as you place them on the bottom of the pan. Gently mashed them as you do with white potatoes, making sure they become soft. These sweet potatoes should appear flat. Place the pineapple rings on the sweet potatoes close together making sure the juices flow into the sweet potatoes. Use all of the pineapple rings sometimes stacking two at a time. Then use the red and green cherries interchangably one after another. Then if you want an added feature obtain a medium size bag of miniature marshmellows using the whole bag: if it was your choice using large marshmellows, only a quarter of the bag. The miniatures would be far better. Then bake the entire items in the oven so the marshmellows will be melted over the rest of it. If you choose you may leave it in the oven a bit longer so the marshmellows will be slightly brown to appear as a crust. So there it is compactly. This maybe used as a potluck, where others are taking fixings to family or friends homes for the holidays including parties of the New Year.