Archive for August, 2015

” Bits Here Pieces There”

August 2, 2015

Finally cooler days are in store in the next couple of days which are in the form of storms. This is a pleasant change from the humdrum days past. Always good for changing the scenery! This month will be the tenth year I have been scripting thoughts in form of blogs. Recalling in August in 2005 was five days of very heavy rain. So had and took the opportunity to put thoughts and constructive as it was coming straight out of my brain without any preparation. Seemed and therefore seems easier this way. Not many changes just to the point. Just taped the draft slightly as my son showed me how to do that so that it wouldn’t disappear as previously. As I begin this blog I feel trapped because of my inability to drive a car. I have simply walked everywhere which seems fine to my standards. I feel stressed because of lack of money all the time. Always trying and succeeding to keep my head above water which I say nightly prayers which is a ritual each night. In fact all my adult life I have been able to manage money having the fact that it is vital to life and the least I have the better I am with it. Couldn’t imagine having a lot of it really wouldn’t know what to do with it and besides it has never been in the cards. So why start at this stage of life. I really worry about my son’s health and wanting somehow to have his kidneys better. Or have a kidney transplant for him. One of my many observations is when I ask someone a question they devise some many unnecessary questions and bombard me with endless why this and why that which has nothing to do with the initial question. And what is very nerve racking is their judging attitude. Another saga is in general sense people just love to hear their own voices as these individuals just ramble on without taking a breath. I never like drama either so when I begin to feel comfortable with someone which I only have a few; I find opening up with someone is difficult. I am in some respects a clam hard to crack: the less comfortable or uneasy I feel the tighter I get. I feel that once I open up then it is better to correspond and I am more worried about a reaction from others. Although the slogan is ” for every action there is a reaction. I also feel that my faith is very important to me although I respect others of being different venues. I just feel what is important to myself. As my son works overnight last night was the only night I could actually sleep and could sleep soundly. Normally I don’t. Am a newshound and wanting and having to know what is going on worldwide mainly than locally. Have been looking for other apartments other places too. Somewhere that is cheaper and been online to see where these places are. Seems the southern part of the US is cheaper, simply for the lower standard of living. Have been there never want to go backward only forward. Would love to go to a city which has trains and a better type of transportation, much easier to motivate and not so spread out. Not really asking for much. Never required much either. If others who are close to me are happy than I am too. If not well I’m not. Have always been motivated by others. Thought of others first then myself. My Social Security check stays the same however rent and utilities continue and will continue to rise. This is just the basic necessities nothing more.
My son has medicine to get which is vital to his health. Has doctor appointments which aren’t covered because he is working a full time job. This state doesn’t have federal funds like most normally. The EBT card was revoked because again my son is working a full time job. I’m not eligible for it because I will share the food with him as he did with me in the past. So the woman said ” Go to a food bank” Treating me like I was homeless! So both of us get food when we can. He brings it home from work and I get what we both need when I get paid. Its called survival. We don’t live to eat: we eat to live!
This will be my only blog this month as will probably have to downsize big time: which I truly hope isn’t the case. Aussi comme si comme ca!!!!