Regrets

October 1, 2017

These regrets are a few and were beyond my control so that being said they go as follows: Not have more children which I for a fact love children. I would have loved to have a baby girl. I know that girls cling to their Mom’s when they are grown. That would have been nice! I would have liked to be married longer then the short 20 years. I had wished I wasn’t as gullible as I had been. People surely had a field day with that in the past.  I had wanted to have more of an eye hand coordination which as the years past it gotten better: which it would be been good enough to drive a motor vehicle.  However being meticulous and methodical wouldn’t had been a good idea. Not good logic at all at say the least. Knowing I had seen in the past and presently there are people who run the chance of driving. Now and never been a gambler especially with my life: it’s too precious much so with other lives.  It would be been great to had entered college and had become a teacher in an elementary school.  The serenity prayer is to have the courage to change to the things you can: accept to things you can’t and have the wisdom to know the difference.

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A Contrarian

September 30, 2017

As others referred to the late and great Jimmy Breslin as a contrarian secretly I am the same way in doing what my heart tells me regardless of how others view me. I mainly have to answer to myself and no one else.  I’ve received a lot of opposition in the past and still do however again what I think matters. What is more I think things out methodically and logically. This is throughout my entire life as if to plan every move I make. It’s worked for me and I’ve lived a three fourths of a century so I must be doing something right. I’ve always had the tendency to think of others first before myself which most of the time serves me correctly.  I naturally get on others nerves though I’ve not had the intention, yet if it would be known precisely. On the subject of asking questions to others it never is one question. It’s a series of questions one after another because my mind is in quick concession.  In addition I find the more comfortable I’m with someone and it works both ways: only then I open up with expressive thoughts. If a person asks me a question one after another and I don’t really know them I become very quiet to a point of silence. That also goes for others whom I known and don’t like though I don’t say it in speaking terms though they know it without a doubt. I don’t hurt others feelings as to saying terms in a jokingly way, yet others have done that to me and I’ve outwardly ignored them,  yet inwardly the comments have hurt and sometimes I feel that it doesn’t matter because they don’t know any better. I just chalk it up to ignorance. Then gradually shy myself away without them knowing why though that is the real reason. My mind is like a computer. It stores a lifetime of comments in a memory bank.

During And After The Ordeal

September 27, 2017

My love of reading  put my into a prime position of doing just that. As being an avid reader I discovered my well known precious authors of  books. I covered seven of them. After reading in my mind was wonderful as I could spam a great deal of knowledge and entertainment combined. The list goes as follows: ” The Book on Everything Irish” by Colin Murphy. ” Getting Haiti Right and this time, the US and the coup” by Amy Goodman. ” Roscoe” by William Kennedy. ” Angry Optimist by Jon Stewart. ” The Portable Library” by John Steinbeck, Edited by Pascal Covici Jr.  ” Subway Series Reader” Edited by Pete Hamill.  This was my second time reading this and found it great as was the first time, knowing that Pete Hamill is one of my favorite authors.” The Motorcycle Diaries; Notes of Latin American journeys by Enesto Che  Guevera. These were as intriguing and led an abundance of knowledge which was enjoyable. During and after this time I was fortunately connected with Weesie. Scott, and my two nieces. I mostly texted them and spoke to them by phone. How wonderfully glorious was this.

Another Ordeal

September 27, 2017

As the months settled into the summer and trying to take special care of my health another ordeal occurred. This one was and is very important. On July 13th and it was a Thursday and not a Friday, I finished brushing my teeth and saw a bright light in my eye and collapsed sideways toward the door. Thinking it was my angle I rose again and the for the second time collapsed. Andre said to me ” I’m calling 911. So the ambulance came and took me to Strong.  While in the ambulance I noticed that my foot was highly bruised and it hurt. Was in the x ray room and it shown a compound fracture of my foot. The people said that because of dehydration was Near Syncope which low blood pressure. I was more concerned with that more so that my foot. Knowing that over the years I’ve had compound fractures of different bones and they have fortunately healed eventually over time.  But this low blood pressure was my concern and still is. I has a splint on my foot which traveled to nearly my knee. I was most uncomfortable to say the least. I felt like the person that Daniel Day Lewis brilliantly portrayed in ” My Left Foot.” Had the original splint on then had a waterproof one. When I when to the orthopedic place I bombarded them with questions about low blood pressure which was to no avail. The months went into August then finally in September after two sets of x rays I was released from that place. Seemed like forever though of course it is my nature to make the best out of anything and just dealt with it. I carry around a blue pitcher of water and a red  cup and constantly hydrate myself. Being thin. small boned and  high strung puts a toll of me though trying to eat right things that have water in them: a list of fruits, salads,  and juices will aid in this process.

The Ordeal

September 27, 2017

This is my first time since April! So patiently waiting wasn’t a terrible long deal. I occupied myself with other ventures which was most entertaining to me and was most satisfying  and mainly didn’t think of it for the most part!  As the most went by I was good.  The months went by picking up on the international national local news as usual. Doing what I do best worrying about important things. Moving to a place nearly closed to where I was when I first came to Rochester. This place was horrendous, not safe, with all kinds of problems to put it mildly. I signed to  a one year lease unaware of the monumental issues ahead so as the short months came and gone I just stayed to myself. Then my son’s roommate moved out wanting a place of his own. That gave me prime opportunity to move back to my original place which I reside now. Told the landlord that I was moving , she said to put it in writing so I did just that. Told her I didn’t feel safe there. Told her why yet didn’t elaborate fully. With the unwanted noise the general vicinity of where it was located and on and on. Knowing I had an eye doctor’s appointment on the 15th, which was very important I moved on the 4th of June. She was a slum lord never repaired anything including washing machines and dryers. This put a great deal of stress on me. The bottom line was money in her eyes. This was a short version of what actually happened and just scripting this makes me stressed out. Told myself I must calm down, yet being high strung I have to make a real effort! I’m ok copacetic!

 

” Now This Month”

April 24, 2017

Moving is a good thing however my computer is still here at Andre’s house so I’ve been here occasionally obviously because I hadn’t blogged in March if no one had noticed. So now I will go with At&t who has a reasonably fee for wifi! Andre has wifi here however where I live in Corn Hill wifi is unavailable which truly sucks. So I plan to go with a good company like At&t  to have great access! In fact I set it up with them in June to have a hotspot with only having internet service. I phoned them recently and gave my email address  to them. Checked my email and nothing so I will phone them again. Pleasantly the company has two stores here in Rochester one on Monroe Avenue and the other is on Jefferson Street both near to where I live. I will ask advice with Andre who knows quite a lot with technologically sound items like hotspot and the like. Again this is a condensed version of my personal views needless to say because of time!

 

” A March To Remember”

April 24, 2017

How beautiful is this to be here finally! Blogging is my passion: yes definitely is! While saying this on this sunny windy day, let’s back tract on the month of March!
There was a conglomeration of bad, worse and even worse in the weather department. First there was a wind storm with 85 mile a hour winds with exaggeration! I personally went outdoors and was nearly blown to my knees had to stop in midstream. This windstorm was left with citizens without power for nearly three days in Irondequoit, Brighton. Monroe County which Rochester is located. Henrietta and surrounding areas were in devastating positions were all in the havoc ways in combination that were unfortunately rendered in March! Then there was a two feet snowstorm with again the same areas were repeatedly in the way of peril. Then there was a series of days which rained which caused flooding in the creeks, rivers, and lakes, which again caused a yet repeated havoc on homes nearly.
Of course this is a condensed version which is related to this month. Then nearly at the end of the month, Jimmy Breslin died in his sleep. He was 86 years of age and only cbs reported this! Might add the Genesee River here was rushing wildly in a gargantuan way!

” No Surprises”

March 6, 2017

Beautiful warm day now, though a week ago wasn’t good for man or beast. Very windy in fact fifty mile an hour with down power lines and anything in the way played havoc. Walked outside in the morning and it was seventy degree weather though in the afternoon the temp was dropping rapidly then by midnight the wind howled to a fever pitch. By the morning walked outside and the wind was so strong it nearly blew me over and being under 100 pounds actually 93 it didn’t take much to topple me to the ground. So I figured I’d go in for a while to wait for it to subside. And it did. So out again to take a daily stroll the wind was calmer yet not much. So now I am at Andre’s and it is so good to see him and be on my computer. Finally published the previous blog I did sixteen days ago which was blogged in February. The point is that it is done. Now for this month which has gone well thus far. Been at my new apartment which is ok, not many light plugs, laundry room is in the basement with very steep stairs which are concrete, the railing is on one side and part of it is jams to the wall. The machines aren’t in good shape and expensive. So when I initially when down the stairs, had boots on and Andre mentioned it was dangerous. It is a good idea to find a laundry mat on South Ave. Not taking any changes and besides there are people hanging around the back door of the building in good weather. Even if I want to do laundry in the daytime which is the more reasonable time it still isn’t safe. Figuring I will do the laundry next month. Have a doctor’s appointment in April.
Been listening to the radio for entertainment, playing cards, writing letters to my dear friend Weesie. Keeping calm and focusing on important items. Speaking on the phone to friends and relatives also. Speaking of friends Alynn is sending another package today which is super. Looking forward to this. My apartment doesn’t have much room as far as storage, little closet space in the kitchen. No surprises with that, though the place isn’t the worse either so not allowed pets, or have a place to decorate either. Those are the drawbacks, it is within my budget which is fine. So that is that for the moment. My son is asleep now so trying to be as quiet as possible. While blogging this had a couple of mountain dews and a orange ice cream on a stick. Am satisfied with the little things in life.

Striving And Succeeding

March 6, 2017

With a cup of tea at hand instead of my usual brew of coffee, times are changing. Have a new address which is nice and I am still welcome here on Linden Street. Andre and his roommate John have been fantastic. My new apartment isn’t far from here which makes it good. I will be […]

via Striving And Succeeding — “Myxomatosis”

“Questions Without Answers”

February 3, 2017

Beautiful Rochester always though not by any means perfect because that’s not reality. All questions that are asked is a way to gain more knowledge than already obtained. No question that is asked is stupid only the question that isn’t asked is stupid. However there are questions without answers.
Been very active getting items accomplished while making lists in the process. My son Andre is ok at the moment he is downtown getting daily medicine which he requires almost daily. I am very concerned for him naturally. He had a recent MRI and it showed that the amyloid is now in the brain stem which explains that his feet and hands become numb sometimes. Sometimes when he rises to stand he becomes lightheaded. His doctor is concerned as well along with John, his roommate. We are saddened with this fact yet don’t want to have Andre feel worse than he already does. So I carry on and try not to have this overtake my life.
Been looking for an apartment still focused on the same one originally. Yesterday Andre and I went there. This time the bus dropped us off closer to the apartment so there wasn’t such a lengthy walk previously. Handed them some needed papers. The girl was off who looks at my application. She will phone me actually am waiting for the call. Already have furniture, a sofa, a recliner, a dresser, a mattress. Will be getting a studio apartment starting at 525 a month and with going on level billing with RGE it will come up to 600 so I will have enough money for other things including food. Speaking of that I am eating healthier while still emotionally. My weight is from 89 to 92 pounds. I feel ok which is important.
Been corresponding with Weesie, handwritten letters. Always preferred those as I still have my handwritten letters from my late cousin Tim. My dearest friend Alynn will be sending those along with others items of mine in the next shipment. He says that my items are narrowing down. Was thinking after he sends me the rest: he and I could write handwritten letters as well. Haven’t told him this though thinking if he reads this he will find out. Always like surprising my close friends. They resemble my family.
While coming back home yesterday, Andre and I went to Saha Med. Grill on Mt Hope Ave. Ordered two sandwiches for take out, Falafel, with Tzatiki sauce with hummus on pita flat bread. It was sensational. Left a message with them saying the atmosphere is pleasant as well. Received a short message in return. Thought Andre and I deserved this. In fact thought each month we will do something fun.